My fiancee and I made the decision that we do not want to do registries for our wedding. We have several reasons, including that we have too much stuff as it is, and not wanting to pressure any of our guests to spend money on us. Another reason that I personally don't want to register, is that I find the whole everyone-sit-in-a-circle-and-watch-me-open-the-gifts-you-paid-for-but-I-told-you-to-get-me, thing, a bit awkward.
That being said, I'm still being selfish and want the whole bridal shower experience, just minus the gift opening. This means that my mom and sister have their work cut out for them in throwing a shower for me. I want a shower that my friends and family can come to and enjoy themselves, and not feel obligated to get me a gift. In a just-trying-to-be-helpful-not-at-all-a-control-freak-bordering-on-bridezilla sentiment, I scrolled through the best Pinterest had to offer and came up with some shower ideas that are entertaining and don't put much pressure on guests.
Activities:
Everyone loves a good shower game, but some of my favorites for a wedding show I've discovered recently include the "Write a Love Story" game. Remember that game where a group of kids would write one story, with each person only knowing the previous sentence? Tell everyone at the party that they are going to be authors of the happy couple's fictional love story. Have the first sentence prepared with something like "Once upon a time, a boy met a girl." and pass the paper around the room, with each person folding the paper over once they've written their sentence, so only one line is visible for the next guest. You don't have to pass it around, as not everyone wants to feel the pressure of having to play or be creative. Set it up at a table so guests can wander around and add to it if they feel like it. Read it aloud while everyone is eating for some entertainment.
Continuing the stations / booths idea for games to keep the pressure off, set up a table for a Cake Tasting Contest. Get a few of the bridesmaids (or BridesBabes as I've been calling them) or a couple of the Mother of the Bride's friends to each make and bring a different kind of cake. Cut the cake into bite sized bits, and label them with a number or a letter. Have the names of the cakes on a list, and let the guests guess at matching the name to the number. Add a twist by blindfolding everyone before tasting!
A fun activity that isn't competitive is setting up a craft table where guests can Make a Heart to give to the bride. Supply red and pink paper, or the colors the bride picked out for the wedding, along with plenty of markers, crayons, colored pencils, and glitter. Add some yarn, ribbon, and scrap fabric for those who are extra talented! See if someone can knit a heart, or sew a heart shaped handbag in just a few minutes! This is a great station for guests to mingle and chat, plus it leads to great keepsakes for the bride to scrapbook and treasure.
Another mingling game is to have a table with some Wedding Mad Libs for guests to complete with each other. This game is becoming more and more popular to have at tables during the reception, but there's no reason it can't be at the shower as well. Pinterest is full of different templates to work with!
The next three activities are wonderful alternatives to the traditional "Who Knows The Bride The Best" type games, which can make some people feel left out. Especially guests like the groom's family members, or newer friends of the bride might not do as well, which can just make it awkward for everyone.
Instead of putting the guests on the spot, but the bride on the spot by playing How Well Does The Bride Know The Groom? Get someone to ask the groom trivia questions about himself, and then ask the bride what his answers were. This way none of the guests will feel bad for not knowing answers, while everyone gets to know a little more about the groom!
For those who love the crowd games, the Purse Scavenger Hunt has its benefits. It's not necessarily wedding themed, but perfect for a gathering of ladies. Make a list of common items women carry in their purses, and guests can win points by having them in their purse. Throw in some not so common ones as well for extra points, and let guests work in teams if you've got a particularly long list.
Another alternative could be playing Wedding Etiquette Trivia. Find some old etiquette books written by Vanderbilts or trusty old Google to find bizarre wedding rules. For instance, did you know there is a "correct" order that the bride and groom are supposed to layer their hands when cutting the first slice of cake? Or that the parents of the bride are supposed to host a brunch for both side's family members shortly after the engagement, where there is an acceptable seating plan and specific duties for the Maid of Honor and Best Man? Me either. Find some of these lesser known rules and turn them into questions, either fill-in-the-blank style or multiple choice. You could even turn it into a game of Jeopardy if you're really ambitious.
Gifts:
Even if you don't want gifts, shower and wedding guests will want to and some will still feel obligated to bring something for the bride. I strongly suggest including a line on BOTH the shower invite as well as the wedding invite along the lines of "As the couple is not registered anywhere, gifts are welcome but not expected". I know of a few people in my family who will panic with this line, wanting to bring something but now knowing what. On the shower invite, include one or more of these things that aren't your typical wedding presents, but are small, cheap, and still thoughtful gifts that will satisfy guest's desire to give. And don't forget to have a card box or basket set up for people who still want to give a message to the bride and groom at both the shower and reception!
For a shower where you are not expecting gifts, do not open the ones people bring as part of a the party. It's going to make those who did not bring a gift feel awkward and like they should have brought a gift. If you want to keep your bridesmaids or a mother/sister type person around after the party officially ends to help you open gifts to collect bows and ribbons for you rehearsal dinner bow-quet or to help you write down information for thank you letters, do it when most of the guests are gone. Some of the alternative gift ideas below are things that you could open during the shower, but any other gifts should wait.
Tell guests to bring a copy of their Favorite Love Story with a note for the bride. It can be a favorite romantic book, chick flick movie, or even a meaningful picture or other work of art. Ask guests to write a short note about why it's their favorite or why they thought the bride would like it.
Another way to encourage guests to leave heartfelt messages for the bride is to ask them to bring a Photo of You & The Bride. Ask guests to bring their favorite photo of themselves and the bride and write a message or memory on the back. This one can be tricky though, as not everyone attending may have a photo of themselves and the bride.
An alternative is to bring Your Favorite Recipe with an attached message for the bride. This is a great idea especially for aunts and grandmothers, or people who don't have a long history with the bride.
Another alternative is to Bring a Heart. This is similar to the Make a Heart activity, where guests can give the bride some sort of heart. Again, it could be a handmade craft, a piece of jewelry, baked good, or work of art. You could adjust it this by replacing the heart with something else personal to the bride, such as her favorite animal or activity.
The next couple ideas are genius, but not ones I would personally want everyone giving me at my shower, or necessarily appropriate for every bride.
One idea is having a Stock The Bar theme to the party, where everyone brings a bottle of booze or glasswear specifically for alcohol to help build the couple's home bar. Similarly, you could have a Stock The Pantry theme, where everyone brings a non-perishable food item for the couple.
Another idea is to have a Shower Shower, where everyone brings one item to contribute to a group gift basket of bath and beauty products. Sticking with the gift basket idea, for a shower with fewer guests you could ask each one to bring a small Room Gift Basket for the bride's house. Assigning each guest either the bedroom, living room, kitchen, laundry room, bathroom, or garden ensures that no one brings the same thing, and that the couple's home is well stocked.
A standby favorite particularly for the bridesmaids is the Lingerie Shower, where everyone is informed of the bride's bra and underwear sizes on the invitation and asked to bring an item for the honeymoon. Obviously some brides will feel more comfortable with this theme than others, so it's very important to check with her about it ahead of time.
Whatever your reason for having an alternative bridal shower, you can still have the traditional shower experience. Just be mindful of you who are inviting, what your personal style is, and what will make you as the bride happy.
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