How To Have A Bridal Shower Without Putting Pressure On Your Guests: Alternate Activities and No Registry Gift Ideas

My fiancee and I made the decision that we do not want to do registries for our wedding. We have several reasons, including that we have too much stuff as it is, and not wanting to pressure any of our guests to spend money on us. Another reason that I personally don't want to register, is that I find the whole everyone-sit-in-a-circle-and-watch-me-open-the-gifts-you-paid-for-but-I-told-you-to-get-me, thing, a bit awkward.

That being said, I'm still being selfish and want the whole bridal shower experience, just minus the gift opening. This means that my mom and sister have their work cut out for them in throwing a shower for me. I want a shower that my friends and family can come to and enjoy themselves, and not feel obligated to get me a gift. In a just-trying-to-be-helpful-not-at-all-a-control-freak-bordering-on-bridezilla sentiment, I scrolled through the best Pinterest had to offer and came up with some shower ideas that are entertaining and don't put much pressure on guests.

Activities:

Everyone loves a good shower game, but some of my favorites for a wedding show I've discovered recently include the "Write a Love Story" game. Remember that game where a group of kids would write one story, with each person only knowing the previous sentence? Tell everyone at the party that they are going to be authors of the happy couple's fictional love story. Have the first sentence prepared with something like "Once upon a time, a boy met a girl." and pass the paper around the room, with each person folding the paper over once they've written their sentence, so only one line is visible for the next guest. You don't have to pass it around, as not everyone wants to feel the pressure of having to play or be creative. Set it up at a table so guests can wander around and add to it if they feel like it. Read it aloud while everyone is eating for some entertainment.

Continuing the stations / booths idea for games to keep the pressure off, set up a table for a Cake Tasting Contest. Get a few of the bridesmaids (or BridesBabes as I've been calling them) or a couple of the Mother of the Bride's friends to each make and bring a different kind of cake. Cut the cake into bite sized bits, and label them with a number or a letter. Have the names of the cakes on a list, and let the guests guess at matching the name to the number. Add a twist by blindfolding everyone before tasting!

A fun activity that isn't competitive is setting up a craft table where guests can Make a Heart to give to the bride. Supply red and pink paper, or the colors the bride picked out for the wedding, along with plenty of markers, crayons, colored pencils, and glitter. Add some yarn, ribbon, and scrap fabric for those who are extra talented! See if someone can knit a heart, or sew a heart shaped handbag in just a few minutes! This is a great station for guests to mingle and chat, plus it leads to great keepsakes for the bride to scrapbook and treasure.

Another mingling game is to have a table with some Wedding Mad Libs for guests to complete with each other. This game is becoming more and more popular to have at tables during the reception, but there's no reason it can't be at the shower as well. Pinterest is full of different templates to work with!

The next three activities are wonderful alternatives to the traditional "Who Knows The Bride The Best" type games, which can make some people feel left out. Especially guests like the groom's family members, or newer friends of the bride might not do as well, which can just make it awkward for everyone.

Instead of putting the guests on the spot, but the bride on the spot by playing How Well Does The Bride Know The Groom? Get someone to ask the groom trivia questions about himself, and then ask the bride what his answers were. This way none of the guests will feel bad for not knowing answers, while everyone gets to know a little more about the groom!

For those who love the crowd games, the Purse Scavenger Hunt has its benefits. It's not necessarily wedding themed, but perfect for a gathering of ladies. Make a list of common items women carry in their purses, and guests can win points by having them in their purse. Throw in some not so common ones as well for extra points, and let guests work in teams if you've got a particularly long list.

Another alternative could be playing Wedding Etiquette Trivia. Find some old etiquette books written by Vanderbilts or trusty old Google to find bizarre wedding rules. For instance, did you know there is a "correct" order that the bride and groom are supposed to layer their hands when cutting the first slice of cake? Or that the parents of the bride are supposed to host a brunch for both side's family members shortly after the engagement, where there is an acceptable seating plan and specific duties for the Maid of Honor and Best Man? Me either. Find some of these lesser known rules and turn them into questions, either fill-in-the-blank style or multiple choice. You could even turn it into a game of Jeopardy if you're really ambitious.



Gifts:

Even if you don't want gifts, shower and wedding guests will want to and some will still feel obligated to bring something for the bride. I strongly suggest including a line on BOTH the shower invite as well as the wedding invite along the lines of "As the couple is not registered anywhere, gifts are welcome but not expected". I know of a few people in my family who will panic with this line, wanting to bring something but now knowing what. On the shower invite, include one or more of these things that aren't your typical wedding presents, but are small, cheap, and still thoughtful gifts that will satisfy guest's desire to give. And don't forget to have a card box or basket set up for people who still want to give a message to the bride and groom at both the shower and reception!

For a shower where you are not expecting gifts, do not open the ones people bring as part of a the party. It's going to make those who did not bring a gift feel awkward and like they should have brought a gift. If you want to keep your bridesmaids or a mother/sister type person around after the party officially ends to help you open gifts to collect bows and ribbons for you rehearsal dinner bow-quet or to help you write down information for thank you letters, do it when most of the guests are gone. Some of the alternative gift ideas below are things that you could open during the shower, but any other gifts should wait.

Tell guests to bring a copy of their Favorite Love Story with a note for the bride. It can be a favorite romantic book, chick flick movie, or even a meaningful picture or other work of art. Ask guests to write a short note about why it's their favorite or why they thought the bride would like it.

Another way to encourage guests to leave heartfelt messages for the bride is to ask them to bring a Photo of You & The Bride. Ask guests to bring their favorite photo of themselves and the bride and write a message or memory on the back. This one can be tricky though, as not everyone attending may have a photo of themselves and the bride.

An alternative is to bring Your Favorite Recipe with an attached message for the bride. This is a great idea especially for aunts and grandmothers, or people who don't have a long history with the bride.

Another alternative is to Bring a Heart. This is similar to the Make a Heart activity, where guests can give the bride some sort of heart. Again, it could be a handmade craft, a piece of jewelry, baked good, or work of art. You could adjust it this by replacing the heart with something else personal to the bride, such as her favorite animal or activity.

The next couple ideas are genius, but not ones I would personally want everyone giving me at my shower, or necessarily appropriate for every bride.

One idea is having a Stock The Bar theme to the party, where everyone brings a bottle of booze or glasswear specifically for alcohol to help build the couple's home bar. Similarly, you could have a Stock The Pantry theme, where everyone brings a non-perishable food item for the couple.

Another idea is to have a Shower Shower, where everyone brings one item to contribute to a group gift basket of bath and beauty products. Sticking with the gift basket idea, for a shower with fewer guests you could ask each one to bring a small Room Gift Basket for the bride's house. Assigning each guest either the bedroom, living room, kitchen, laundry room, bathroom, or garden ensures that no one brings the same thing, and that the couple's home is well stocked.

A standby favorite particularly for the bridesmaids is the Lingerie Shower, where everyone is informed of the bride's bra and underwear sizes on the invitation and asked to bring an item for the honeymoon. Obviously some brides will feel more comfortable with this theme than others, so it's very important to check with her about it ahead of time.


Whatever your reason for having an alternative bridal shower, you can still have the traditional shower experience. Just be mindful of you who are inviting, what your personal style is, and what will make you as the bride happy.

Planning a Wedding- Divorced Parents

" I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. "   

William Shakespeare's

Much Ado About Nothing

 Act 2, Scene 3

 

SURPRISE!

After all his protests against marriage my sweetheart proposed to me only a year and a half after we started dating, on a beautiful beach in Wilmington, NC!

So naturally at the end of our week long vacation on our drive back to Wisconsin I started wedding planning, even though we probably won't be getting married for another two to four years. One of the first things that came to mind was what we were going to do with our parents. Both of us are children of divorce, with differing animosity between our respective mothers and fathers.

My parents had a fairly long, drawn out, but amicable divorce. While my little sister and I are all grown up with no custody agreements to be made, my parents still share our two family dogs, and speak to each other and meet in person about once a week. They would have no problem sitting together and jointly participating in my wedding.

My fiance Aaron's parents however, had it a little messier. I won't go into details, but his mother has no tolerance for his father, or his new wife. While they both love Aaron very much and would do anything they could for him, we would never ask them to sit together or be involved in anything where they would have to be civil with one another. We want them both to be equally involved and represented at our wedding, but the traditional ceremony seating of the bride's family on one side and groom's on the other isn't feasible with our family situations.

This leads to my main dilemma: How to make our four separate parents feel equally honored at our wedding, without making anyone feel awkward or left out.

Our situation might be fairly unique from what I can tell from the amass of interwebz wedding-ness. All of our parents are equally important to us, and neither of us have any special connection with step parents, which I have found to be a more common problem. We also have a delicate situation with our grandparents. My mother's parents and my father's mother have some tension. Aaron's father's parents and Aaron's mother are also a little at odds, and most of his mother's family either won't be able to make it or won't be invited. After trolling all the traditional etiquette and modern wedding planning sites for inspiration and help with this problem, most of the advice fell into one of two general categories. Neither "Pick who you feel closest to to recognize, and ask the other to take a back seat" nor "If they really love you they will do whatever you ask" were going to work out for us.

So with some coffee and lots of names on cut-up paper slips, I set about trying to make my own plan.

Guide to reading my seating charts:

• BM= Bride's Mother
• BF= Bride's Father
• GF= Groom's Father
• GM=Groom's Mother
• GFW= Groom's Father's Wife
• BMG= Bride's Maternal Grandparents
• BPG= Bride's Paternal Grandmother
• GPG= Groom's Paternal Grandparents
• BPF= Bride's Paternal Extended Family Member
• BMF= Bride's Maternal Extended Family Member
• GWS= Groom's Father's Wife's Grandson (Being raised by Groom's Father &Wife)

The key components to my problem solving were these:

• No former couple sits next to each other
• No parent's parent(s) sit next to a former spouse's parent(s)
• Groom's mother does not feel left out with no additional family representative(s).

Below are all of the resulting drafts I made. Some did not work for our situation, but others may find it helpful. One theme we stuck with was moving his mother to the typical "bride" side, and my father to the "groom" side. This made it look like a gender thing, instead of a parents of the ______ on each side. This avoided any confusion of thinking my mom and his dad were a couple, or any variations on that idea.

Here we decided to only assign seating for our parents in the front row, and grandparents in the second, with just rows marked for additional family to fill in on their own.

Here we stuck with only our parents in the front row, with grandparents and specific extended family filling in the second and third rows with assigned sides and places.

This circle arrangement gives each parent their own section, so that they never have to talk to each other. The circle arrangement can also be very intimate being surrounded by friends and family, instead of at the front putting on a show for them. One general problem with this arrangement is that the officiant will have their pack to two sides, which can make those parents and family members feel somewhat left out. Another problem that is unique to Aaron and I, is that because his mother does not have family we expect to come she would be very isolated without friends and family sitting immediately by her.

Here I moved our grandparents to the front row, which I prefer. Some of them have mobility issues, and not only is the front row more accessible it makes them feel more honored.

This is what Aaron came up with when I asked for help. Very unique option and the circular pattern makes the ceremony far more intimate. This option does not reserve individual seats for family, allowing our parents to choose where they are comfortable with sitting and with whom. This arrangement also means that the officiant will have their back to half the guests, and the band will be blocking half as well.

Here I tweaked Aaron's arrangement, moving the band off to the side. There is still the problem of the officiant having his back to the guests.

While this isn't the cleanest image of this arrangement, this is what we have decided to go with for now. Our mothers on one side of the aisle, and fathers on the other. Grandparents get priority front row seating, and the rows are curved to imitate the circle effect to improve guest visibility and keep some of the intimacy of being surrounded by our friends and family. 

To further that feeling, we played with where we want the wedding party to stand. We placed the Maid of Honor and Best Man just off to the side of each of us, but then moved the groomsmen and bridesmaids to form semicircles around us. That was they can see us better than standing off in a line, and feel more included in the ceremony than just standing on the end against a wall.

Hopefully some of these plans will be helpful for those planning a wedding with divorced parents! Or else for those looking for some nontraditional seating plans. Everyone's parental situation is different, and not everything will work for everyone, but at least one of these may be a starting point for your ceremony seating. I created a dinner seating chart as well included below. For dinner I believe there is a lot more room to play around, as some people may find it boring to sit with the same families all the time. Don't be afraid to mix it up at dinner, and make your new in-laws sit together and chat! Most of your extended families won't see much of each other in all likelihood after your wedding anyway, so now's the time to force some interaction! Dinner plans will also vary by the shape and number of seats at each table. I've planned mine for circular tables seating six each.

I only made plans for family seating, and we are going to have free seating for all other guests.

 Whatever your family and future family-in-law situation, don't be afraid of breaking tradition. It is more important (to me at least) that my family feels comfortable enough to be happy and celebrate our wedding. Your wedding shouldn't be a time for divorcees to be reminded of or sulk over the end of their own marriages, but instead to celebrate your new happiness, reflect on their current relationships if they've moved on, and to be happy around the people you and they love.

Health Alternatives, Myths, and Scams

First off, I'd like to make it clear that I am not a doctor, nurse, physicians assistant, or have any other medical degree. I do have a bachelors in interpersonal communication, focusing on health care, and I am continuing to study it more in depth while working on a masters in health communication.

I am not an expert. I do however, try to use some common sense and learn and research as much as possible to find new information when it comes to health care. Lately with all of the facebook, pinterest, and other social media sites a buzz with 'secret remedies evil drug companies don't want you to know about' I've been doing even more searching, and I'd like to debunk a few of these 'natural alternatives' that piss me off.

Gluten
Going gluten free is something that mom's everywhere are pushing onto everyone. Supposedly, going gluten free makes you more alert, gives you increased energy, makes you more capable of learning, and all around snobbier. Research says: Unless you have Celiac's disease, going gluten free has no health benefits.

Celiac's disease is something you are born with. If you have Celiac's disease it means that from birth, you are unable to eat gluten without going into anaphylaxis. Anaphylaxis is the medical term for your airways constricting to the point you are suffocating. This means that you cannot process gluten   at all, and that if you even try you will stop breathing. Completely. There is no such thing as a 'gluten sensitivity' where it's just harder for you to process it. It doesn't exist. If you're saying "but I cut out gluten and I feel so much better!" that is because of one of two things. Number one, the standard placebo effect. It's been proven to work far more than cutting out gluten. People take sugar pills and lose weight because they think it will help them lose weight. Cutting out gluten, because you're changing your eating behavior, makes you think you must be losing weight, and so you do.

The second reason it may help lose weight is because cutting out gluten usually means you're cutting down on carbs. This diet change has been proven to have many health benefits like weight loss and increased energy, because the foods people replace carbs with, such as ones high in protein, are typically easier to break down into energy. This has been tried and tested many times and has been shown to work for many people. Limiting carbs, not gluten specifically, is what makes you feel better. Eating the same amount of carbs that are gluten free as you were before you switched shows little weight loss, and usually weight gain instead. These substitutes are typically higher in fat content and will in no way help you lose weight or feel better. If cutting out gluten makes it easier for you to cut carbs, go for it. But cutting out gluten for the sake of it is in no way beneficial. You're missing out on lots of minerals people typically get from foods that tend to contain gluten. There is nothing wrong with gluten as a substance. Humans have evolved over hundreds of years to be able to process all kinds of foods, and gluten was an easy one. It's normal for your body.

Honey and Cinnamon
There's a facebook post that's been going around for a while about the secret benefits of honey and cinnamon, claiming to cure everything from acne to cancer to the common cold. Some of these cures work, but most do not. While taking a little honey and cinnamon every day isn't going to hurt to try, research it before you try to cure brain tumors and heart disease without a doctor's help.

One of the reasons people claim that it works to cure things like influenza and colds is because honey contains natural antibiotics. This is true, it does. So does garlic and several other foods. Before you start squirting honey or garlic juice in your ear to fix an earache or sinus infection, understand that there are not enough antibiotics in any of these foods on their own to fight off bacteria that has taken hold in your body. Raw, unprocessed honey contains enough antibiotics to keep bacteria from growing in it, but for it to work in a human you would have to have veins running with honey. Also, these posts typically say that once you start feeling sick you should take a spoonful of honey until you feel better, usually around 3-4 days. If this works for you, you had a VIRAL infection, not a bacteria, and would have gotten better on your own in the same amount of time. Colds are viral infections, not bacterial, so even if there were enough antibiotics in honey to cure a bacterial infection, it would not work on a cold. Your body is strong enough to fight a lot of these things on its own. It's awesome like that.

There are some things that honey and cinnamon will work on, like your skin. Both ingredients contain exfoliators, antioxidents, and moisturizers that are all beneficial for skin care. This combination has also been shown to reduce inflamation in many people. Some of these tests are still inconclusive, but overall showing some positive results for people with arthritis pain, gout, and other regular inflamation even including heartburn, skin rashes, and even gas. It's not going to work on a swollen ankle or bruise because your body can heal those things on its own before the honey and cinnamon have a chance to start working. While it hasn't been shown to work for everyone, it can't really hurt to try for problems like this.

One of the reasons this post bothers me it because of the way it paints drug companies, scientists, and health care in general. It implies that every human being working in this field is so unethical and uncaring that they would conceal cancer treatments and allow people to die simply because they want to willingly deceive the public to make a profit. Yes, there are people out there like this, but do you really believe that the entire scientific community and every single health care practitioners are this way? Or that medical schools have conspired and fabricated western medicine to such an extent? Do you really think any one group of people are capable of keeping these secrets for so long?

Detoxes
There are tons of spas and drug stores offering detox foot baths or pads, drinks, or pills that claim to detox your system to help you lose weight and feel better. The best you can get out of these things is a fancy footbath and diarrhea. The latter can sometimes be good if you've been having digestive issues, but if you are able to eat and poop normally and regularly without pain or other side effects, your body is detoxing you naturally. It does it on its own. Human beings did not get to where we are now by evolving without a natural waste-detox system built in.

The foot pads and baths are all a scam. The pads that are sold in drug stores are designed to use different pads on the bottom of your feet in a claim that they pull toxins out of your body. These were proven to be a scam and pulled from the market at least for a while. The way they showed they were 'working' was by turning different colors after you had them on to show all the toxins they pulled out. Then, as you used them for several days or weeks, they would turn lighter colors to show you have fewer toxins now. In reality, the different pads were made with chemicals that when exposed to oxygen in the air for a certain amount of time they would turn colors. Then, the pads you would use successively would contain less amounts of these chemicals. Other pads contain teas that soak up sweat from your feet to turn colors to show you the toxins.

The foot baths at spas or sold for home use have also been proven to be a scam. They use the same kinds of oxidation chemicals to show your 'toxins' being washed away. All they are is a fancy, expensive foot bath. None of these things hurt you, so if you feel better doing it, as most of us do with a nice foot soak, you might as well, but a tub full of warm soapy water will do the exact same thing.

As far as detox pills and drinks and diets, these can be more harmful and you should be careful of any that are too severe. Most of them contain diuretics and laxatives that flush water and poop out of you quickly. The myth that the average person is holding 15 lbs of waste in them at any one time is false. If you have constipation problem or gastrointestinal issues, then you may be one of these extreme cases, and you should talk to your doctor if you're concerned.

Most of the time however, your body is pretty good at flushing out any toxins. That's why we're able to eat things like gluten, overcome viruses, and poop by ourselves. Congratulations, your body is more awesome than you thought! I'll leave you with my favorite video on the subject, created by Australian comedian Tim Minchin, with some suggestions about natural medicine and other life lessons.

12 Days of Christmas Gifts!

The Christmas Spirit can get a little tiring and irritating after a while. Gift giving can get complicated, frusterating, and expensive. Almost immediately after Thanksgiving I started my giving lists for everyone. Several weeks of online shopping later I think I've finally gotten everything done. Even with the economy and being a brake graduate student I think I've gotten more for people this year than last year. Perhaps it only feels that way since I have my boyfriend's family Christmas to prepare for as well. Either way the piles of presents just keep building!

Earlier this fall I got all kinds of ideas for decorating and gifts after finally joining Pinterest. While I haven't been quite as excited as I normally am this time of year, I still wanted to do something special for a couple of people around me. Pinterest gets credit for the idea of giving 12 Days of Christmas gifts! I came up with some of my own ideas for each of the days though. I did two different versions, one for my boyfriend, and one for my roomate. I tried to keep it little and inexpensive, while still doing something fun for each day.

Boyfriend version: Number Themed Gifts

First Day:

Any one single item he needed. In this case, a chef knife! Aaron somehow managed to break his chef knife off at the blade. Don't ask me how, but he did! Before he managed to do that I was debating giving one more expensive nice gift from the regular Christmas presents I was getting him, but I felt like this worked better.

Second Day:
Think pairs! Remember I said this was Pinterest inspired? I made him two hand-warmers. Perfect for walking to class in the winter or taking to the range on a cold day!

Third Day:
Threes were a harder one. I ended up just getting him a set of three nice pens. Kind of boring, but I was running out of ideas for odd days after a while!

Fourth Day:
Four extra long undershirts. Aaron is tall, and has difficulty finding undershirts that stay tucked in under his uniform top. A while ago we were out shopping and he was looking for extra long/tall sized undershirts but we couldn't find any. So when I saw these extra long top rated undershirts on Amazon I snapped them up!

Fifth Day:
Again, odd days are harder. Another slightly boring idea, but I got him one of each of the five flavors of chapstick he likes! He, like the rest of us, always ends up losing his chapstick before it runs out, so I wanted to restock his supply especially during the dry winter months.

Sixth Day:
This one was a no-brainer. A six pack will make most men happier than any crafty creation! I wanted to make it at least a little bit special so I went where I could do a mix-your-own six pack with some unique but delicious sounding beers!

Seventh Day:
This one took me a while, but eventually the perfect idea dawned on me, Jack Daniel's Old No. 7 Whiskey! Aaron's more of a gin drinker, but I think he'll like it anyway.

Eighth Day:
His favorite coffee is sold in 8oz packages from a local coffee shop! 

Ninth Day:
I couldn't come up with anything special for 9, so I gave him 9 packs of ramen, because his specialty breakfast recipe is his own creation of the Romelete!

Tenth Day:
Smart Touch gloves, for his 10 fingers! Gloves compatable for using his iPhone. He loves his leather gloves, but these are useful for when he's driving and using his GPS.

Eleventh Day:
Oceans Eleven on BluRay. He just got a bluray player and loves action movies!

Twelfth Day:
A pack of twelve golf balls. Over the summer he kept mentioning that he wanted to learn how to golf, and now he has an excuse!

Roommate Version: Bird/Character themed gifts.

First Day:
Bottle of Pear Cider. My roommate loves cider as she doesn't drink bear. Pear cider is sweeter than hard apple cider, and one of her favorite kinda comes in a large wine-sized bottle. This was a cheat right off the bat, as I tried to say it was 'No Partridge but a Pear Treat'. Not perfect, but I had nothing else!

Second Day:
 Turtle(d) Dove's. Pinterest find! Take pretzels, place Dove chocolate on top, and place in warm (not hot) oven until they get melty enough to squish a little bit. Place a walnut or pecan on top of the chocolate and smoosh into the pretzel. Then place in the fridge or freezer to harden the chocolate again. Simple but yummy!

Third Day:
French custard tarts. French hens would be a bit much, but making a few egg custard tarts was simple enough and a yummy breakfast for me!

Fourth Day:
Four calling birds. So I got her this owl phone case from Modcloth! Calling-bird, get it? Get it?

Fifth Day:
Gold rings, or earrings! I just bought her a few cute pairs of gold earrings.

Sixth Day:
Geese a laying- I wanted to get six chocolate eggs, like the Cadbury cream eggs, but I can't find ANYTHING even close to that at all the stores around here! In the end I got Lindt white chocolate truffles that look almost like eggs.

Seventh Day:
Swans a swimming was hard! Eventually I found a Swan brand wine. Sarah doesn't like red though, so I got her a light chardonay.

Eighth Day:
Maids a milking. I got her some latte's similar to the Starbucks Frappacinos you can get from most grocery stores.

Ninth Day:
Nine Ladies Dancing was sort of hard. I thought about getting her some shoes, or some music, or   something, but I ended up getting a Zumba DVD! 

Tenth Day:
Ten Lords a Leaping. Best I could come up withe was Princess and the Frog. She's not super into Disney, but if you have a better idea let me know!!

Eleventh Day:
Eleven Pipers Piping. Best I got was Piper Nail polish. She likes painting her nails a lot, so I thought it was useful!

Twelfth Day:
Twelve drummers drumming. Drumstick IceCream! Had to buy it ahead of time, so I gift wrapped it and stuck it in the freezer with a Do Not Open Until Dec 25th note attached!!

Now I know traditionally the Twelve Days of Christmas start on the 25th, but I was going to be away with my family during that time. So instead I did it the twelve days leading up to Christmas Day. I think they both liked getting little things ahead of time especially as most of the time was during finals week at our Uni. 

Any advice for more creative gifts for next year would be wonderful!

Losing Weight

Uhg, weight gain.

About three years ago I started seriously working out and dieting, and lost over 30 lbs. January of last year my doctor switched up my medications, and I ended up gaining those 30 lbs back in under 6 months. Now I've at least stopped gaining, but it's time to lose all the weight again.

This time last year I weighed 155, and now I'm just over 180. My goal is to lose at least 10 lbs before Thanksgiving. The problem is how to kick start. For the past month I've at least been losing a small amount, down three lbs since the beginning of October.

To start this week I'm trying a mix of cleanses. Most of the time I think they're bullshit as far as actual weight loss. Typically they just dehydrate you and you'll gain back whatever fat you lost pretty quickly. I do think they're good as far as discipline. For me, that's one of the hardest parts. I think if I can get through three days of sticking to a strict detox plan then I might have a better time with a diet plan afterwards. I also think it'll be good for cutting sugar out, so that during a diet the loss won't be noticed as much and cravings may go down. Hopefully. I guess we'll see!

I'm doing a mix of Jillian Michaels and Dr. Oz for this. I'm using Jillian's drink mix, which can be found here. It's pretty simple and no brand name products are used, so it seems at least a little more credible. I'm not sure if I'll be using the dandelion tea or another kind or a mix, I'll have to do some research on the dandelion tea and why it's recommended. Dr. Oz also recommends drinking just the tea, so I think there must be something special about it. If it's just for dehydration I might replace it with a ginger or other detox tea.

Along with drinking this throughout the day I'm using a diet plan based on Dr. Oz's Weekend Cleanse. There is a shopping list and recipies for breakfast, smoothie snacks, a lunch smoothie, and soup for dinner. I don't really like the idea for smoothies so I'll be making my own snacks and lunches out of veggies and soups, and possibly some lean protein. The breakfast recipe looks great though and should be pretty simple.

For breakfast, boil 1/2 cup quinoa, a pinch of nutmeg, and some grated ginger in one cup of water, and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir in 1/3 cup chopped prunes (I might switch to raisins) and 1/4 cup rice milk, and cook for another 5 minutes. Add 1 tbps of flax seed oil and serve.

I like that the rice milk will sweeten it enough that it should be like an oatmeal or granola cereal type meal and be perfect for breakfast! I read some reviews and found that a lot of people found it filling.

For lunch I might have either some of the soup recipe that's for dinner or a Healthy Choice soup. I've been working my way through every flavor of the Healthy Choice soups and have not yet found one that's gross. My favorite is the Butternut Squash! They're typically 90-120 calories a serving and there are two servings per container. Most of them are 4 Weight Watchers Points Plus for the whole thing! If you don't do weight watchers you can figure out how many points you get per day here. I'm 5'6" and just over 180 lbs and I get 25 point per day, so 4 points for two cups of soup is fantastic! I just make sure to look for low sodium ones.

Sometimes though soup won't cut it, and I need something to bite into. This is where the protein comes in. I think I might take some lean chicken or salmon. Some diet recommend cod because it's typically lowest in calories, but it's also lowest in nutrition. Salmon is only about 10 calories more per fillet and has more nutrients and is particularly better for women. It's a natural intake of fish oil instead of getting supplements for it. Cod is okay, but salmon is tastier and better for you.

Dinner I think I'm going to go with Dr. Oz's soup recipe. I like it because it's a thin broth with lots of low calorie veggies. The exact recipe can be found here. I like this idea for a nighttime meal because it's low in carbs and protein and can be quickly digested so it's not sitting in you overnight. I might also try to make my own Butternut Squash soup as low calorie as possible to see if I can get below the 100/calories per cup that Healthy Choice does and lower the sodium as they're all about 390 mg of sodium, and I'm trying to stay at or under 1000. Reducing sodium helps with bloating and carb retention.

Okay, so that's the healthy diet part. I'm also doing some not-so-healthy things as far as diet pills. I'm taking Alli with each meal to eat up some more fat. I'm also going to start using a carb blocker for the same idea at Alli but with carbs instead of fat. From what I've heard this can block you up, so I'll probably be drinking a laxative tea to help combat this.

I'm aiming for a week of quinoa, salmon, and soup in addition to Jillian's drink mix throughout the day. Right now I'm about 183lbs and will hopefully check back and be 5 ish lbs lower in 7 days following this. I don't have much time to work out daily but I'm aiming to at least do a pilates type work out every day and as much cardio as I can fit in, but I'm not expecting to get more than three hours this week. Here's hoping for at least some weight loss!!

Why is it "Growing Up"?

I suppose I should probably explain why I called this blog "Growing Up".

However old I was I could never really picture myself being a real adult, and actual grown up. Even once I started college I couldn't think of what I would actually do once I was out of it.

I started getting my undergrad at the University of Wisconsin Stevens Point in fall 2007. After declaring a History and Broad Field Social Studies double major and half-assing it for two years I took an Introduction to Organizational Communication class that made me decide to switch to a Communication major. Even after the relief and excitement over finding something I loved doing I didn't want to graduate and become a big kid, so I managed to stretch out my classes into staying an extra year in school, and graduating in the spring of 2012. That last year wasn't even enough, so now I'm staying put to get a Master of Arts in Interpersonal Communication, specifically focusing on Health Communication.

While I definitely do not hold the city of Stevens Point dear to my heart I stayed here for several reasons. One is that they decided to pay me to go to school. After paying thousands of dollars of student loans for my undergrad over five years, and now they decide to pay my tuition and then some just for teaching a couple section of the basic Introduction to Public Speaking class. Another financial reason is that I get to keep my job on campus. I have probably the highest paying student job on campus working as the student scheduling manager for UWSP Protective Services: Police and Security. Twice a semester I help my boss make a schedule and then sit on my butt watching TV and doing homework waiting for the phone to ring. It's a cozy gig. The third and probably best reason I'm staying here for a bit is that I finally have an awesome boyfriend who is back from Iraq for the third time and will finish his undergrad here about the same time I graduate, again. He's wonderful and I wouldn't want to be away from him for anything!

So essentially these next two years are the last push to get myself out the door into the real world. But then again there's always a PhD....

Hello! "Parenthood" and Support Groups as Normalicy

With my first semester of graduate school underway I find that I need another outlet to dump stress, ideas, and questions other than friends, family, and my professors. Since I have awful handwriting a paper journal didn't seem like the best spot for noting anything I might want to re-read in the future, so hopefully this will be   a better alternative!

I'm working on my Masters in Interpersonal Communication in small town Wisconsin and will hopefully graduate in spring 2014.

While I typically focus on health communication today's inspiration came from watching the TV show Parenthood. It's one of my new favorite shows and I'm obsessively catching up with it on Netflix in any spare time I have. The show's portrayal of Max, a child with Asperger's, a social/behavioral disorder on the Autism spectrum typically annoys me because of the way the show implies it's okay for families to be so helpless and bend to the child's every whim. While I am in no way an expert, with a little digging I found plenty of criticism by families dealing with the problem and from behavioral specialists. One thing that did strike me while watching the episode "Booth Job" was when Max's mother Kristina started going to a support group for parents of children with Asperger's.

In health communication there is the idea of experiencing your symptoms and problems normally. Patients search for clues and reassurances that they have a normal, explainable problem and whatever the problem is, being a textbook example typically leads to more peace of mind than being an abnormal patient.

So when I was watching Parenthood and I noticed that as Kristina appeared to be identifying with other parents and experiencing a sense of relief at hearing other people with similar problems I realized that Support Groups function as this monitor or normalicy for social problems. It might seem like a duh, of course they do moment, but I think it would be interesting to research and write about. I'm sure it has been exhausted in the psychology end of research, and at least a fair amount in communication, but I wanted to save it here as a reference in case I need a paper idea for an upcoming class.

I hope to come up with more ideas, and hopefully more original and insightful ideas to post up here in the future, probably along with some personal posts as well!